June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008

Not a lot of blogging this week. I'm helping John move out, so we're there like every night packing, sorting, and throwing out. We're going to have a sweet pile of stuff for some random game we'll play at LIT this weekend. Even though it's a lot of work and most nights I haven't been getting to bed until 1 a.m. - it's really exciting because the next time I help him move, it will be into "our" place! So crazy.

It reminds me of the night he asked me to marry him. 1:30 a.m. in the freezing cold. And me just saying over and over, "Are you sure?!?? Are you crazy?!? Can we even do this, are we old enough??"

The first PIT was last night, Angela & Scott did a great job, only good things to come. My car is in the shop and of course that's costly. But it all needs to be done, that's the responsibility of being a grown up I suppose.

Ok, back to my merge documents.

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I should have gone to sleep, but instead I stayed up. I read the words you wrote and now I'm sick to my stomach. Your actions are foolish and I cannot disregard them. This makes you dangerous and for that I am saddened. You were a trap waiting and set, only I did not think that your lust would cause you to take action so quickly. And now once again, I must be on my guard. I hate this.

prayer and sleep must be the remedy.

0 Comments

I'm realizing more each day, just how real our love is. It's not something chancy, it's not shallow, it's not hormones, it's something more. Just when I think I have you figured out, I've got your faults and talents all figured out, you surprise me again. I realize there's more to you than even I see, and that's saying something. Life before you is fuzzy, and relationships before almost nonexistent. It's like you've always been there, which is weird, because you haven't. I'm glad that married life won't always be the "known". While being married will cause us to know each other even more, there will still be things to learn and always will be. That is because we each will not become stagnant, but constantly changing people.

I cried today over a certain youth. It has been a long time since that happened and I am so relieved to know that God still has compassion in my soul for this ministry. It's hard to decipher these days what things are routine and what has been ordained. As I thought about you, and prayed over my attitude toward you, I realize that there is still compassion for this ministry, for this calling. The day I do not have compassion on youth, is the day I should quit. Compassion is necessary for life, for following Christ, as described by Sam in his brilliant graduation speech. God, please continue to move my heart. Things are changing, so rapidly, and you must be in the middle of this somehow: Avery leaving, John stepping out, leaders graduating and a whole new crew of young people. Help me, give me wisdom, I cannot ever do this on my own.

Annabeth is over, kids are a lot of work. This is a good lesson for me to learn. :) Dear body, please adjust quickly, I hate nausea and that's what I'm anticipating. John moves out this week, man life is way too hectic. Tomorrow I take my car in, hopefully he has room for me and that it's not too expensive. Alright, time to pack and watch cable tv. peace.

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The way I see it # 267

"Music can lift us out of depression or move us to tears - it is a remedy, a tonic, orange juice for the ear. But for many of my neurological patients, music is even more - it can provide access, even when no medication can, to movement, to speech, to life. For them, music is not a luxury, but a neccessity."

- Oliver Sacks


And He set me on fire
And I am burning alive
With His breath in my lungs
I am coming undone
And I cannot hold it in and remain composed
Love’s taken over me and so
I propose the letting myself go
I am letting myself go

You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy

I need to catch my breath, I need to
I need to catch my breath, give me a moment now
I’m laughing so hard...
- David Crowder Band

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Today I had the day off (as well as yesterday). I work so much it feels wrong. I mean it feels good, but it doesn't feel right. I think this is a problem. I feel so guilty. Between BPI and the church there's always something to be done. Not to mention wedding stuff. I hope with marriage comes some sort of balance. We're definitely going to need to reorder our lives. I have the tendency to be come a workaholic. I don't want that.

Today, nothing went as planned. It wasn't bad, in fact it was good, just not as planned.

Sister woke me up early to go to Starbucks, her treat! That was nice, we sat for a bit before she went to work. Then I ran two errands, I went to the ATM and had a horrible experience I won't relay. Let's just say that one man's impatient actions made me want to turn my back on the town I love and say I hate LA. I think God's just trying to teach me something about slowing down in life. I went to CVS and picked up the prescription that furthers my ascent into adulthood (I pondered whether the right wording would be "descent" or "ascent", and I chose the glass half full description).

Natasha and I spent a good part of the day together which was rad. She was my beach buddy that I desperately needed.

We lay out and listened to music for about an hour or so before we picked up lunch from TJs and went to Diana's work.

Diana did her make up for the play, she did an amazing job, but it's not hard to make Tash beautiful.

Then we rushed rushed home. So rushed home.

After that I almost forgot to pick up mom, but I did. Then I continued to rush to get to Kevin's graduation. I forgot that attending a graduation that you have not previously mapped out is a grand misadventure. I parked a huge distance away but arrived before he received his diploma and was able to scream along with the rest of the P -fam.

(Kevin's in there somewhere)
Then I came home for dinner with John and mom before he rushed off to worship practice.

The evening has been spent in a short nap, yoga with mom, and attempted cleaning/studying. It's interesting, I don't think it's coincidence that we've been talking about relationships at LIT. I think I want to continue it out even a few more weeks. I know that I've put it off because of insecurities in my own life, but now that we're engaged, I feel a tiny bit more confident. A tiny bit. I want the best for our students, love as God intended it. That's a lofty goal, but I'm praying.

Tomorrow I'm hoping I'll be able to get off work early by going in early so I can go to Tasha's play *crosses fingers*
Alright, that means I should sleep. 5:15 will be here too soon, 5:15?!?! what is the world coming to.

Sam's graduation:

Mr. Valedictorian is in there some where (I think behind the massive balloon pillar)

And a few photos from bowling last night:

Labels: birthday, day off, graduation

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When I woke up this morning the sun was shining so brightly on my bed. It's really summer. I love summer! So excited to go to the beach, and to have parties and to go camping and do all the things I love to do in summer.

I had to hurry to get to my doctor's appt, since mom was in the shower before me. I got there quickly and only riding the elevator incorrectly once. I hopped in there, some poor man nearly severing his arm in attempting to hold it open for me. Thinking back on it, that man may have been a woman. In fact I think it was. I stood in front the directory on the second floor for a moment, pretending to gather my bearings, but really I was just waiting for the doors to close on the lady who stayed in the elevator so she wouldn't realize I needed to get back in and go back down to the first floor.

I'm ok with my doctor, I didn't agree with her on a few things but all in all she seemed to know her stuff. Here's for stepping into adulthood. For once I was able to tell my doctor that I'm excercising regularly, that's awesome! Thanks sister.

After all that I stopped by Victoria's secret for their annual (or is it semi annual) sale and treated myself to some "happy birthday" (new chonies) yay! Then I rushed home to go have lunch. We took grandma and grandpa out with us to Todai's to celebrate the day of my birth. I wanted to go there because first of all, duh, it's amazing food! All you can eat Japanese, yes please! And secondly, when you go on your birthday you get a coupon for a free lunch. It was all that I was expecting. Love food.

I was debating rushing off to try and get some shoes at the Westside Pavilion today and of course visiting my love behind the BB counter, but I figured I'd be too rushed with trying to get back in time for sam's graduation. Walking beside my 80+ year old grandpa today reminded me that life is not to be rushed. John is always trying to slow me down, I have this hurry mentality within every fiber of my being. Some people were calmly waiting for us to pass, while others became so irritated. Why the hurry, I thought? I know too the well the being rushed, but I also understand the value of pause, especially through holding the hand of one of my grandparents.

Tonight is going to be awesome, hurrahing for Sam the Valedictorian and bowling for 24. Woot.

Labels: 24th birthday, graduation, grandparents

0 Comments

24.

0 Comments

June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008

Not a lot of blogging this week. I'm helping John move out, so we're there like every night packing, sorting, and throwing out. We're going to have a sweet pile of stuff for some random game we'll play at LIT this weekend. Even though it's a lot of work and most nights I haven't been getting to bed until 1 a.m. - it's really exciting because the next time I help him move, it will be into "our" place! So crazy.

It reminds me of the night he asked me to marry him. 1:30 a.m. in the freezing cold. And me just saying over and over, "Are you sure?!?? Are you crazy?!? Can we even do this, are we old enough??"

The first PIT was last night, Angela & Scott did a great job, only good things to come. My car is in the shop and of course that's costly. But it all needs to be done, that's the responsibility of being a grown up I suppose.

Ok, back to my merge documents.

0 Comments

I should have gone to sleep, but instead I stayed up. I read the words you wrote and now I'm sick to my stomach. Your actions are foolish and I cannot disregard them. This makes you dangerous and for that I am saddened. You were a trap waiting and set, only I did not think that your lust would cause you to take action so quickly. And now once again, I must be on my guard. I hate this.

prayer and sleep must be the remedy.

0 Comments

I'm realizing more each day, just how real our love is. It's not something chancy, it's not shallow, it's not hormones, it's something more. Just when I think I have you figured out, I've got your faults and talents all figured out, you surprise me again. I realize there's more to you than even I see, and that's saying something. Life before you is fuzzy, and relationships before almost nonexistent. It's like you've always been there, which is weird, because you haven't. I'm glad that married life won't always be the "known". While being married will cause us to know each other even more, there will still be things to learn and always will be. That is because we each will not become stagnant, but constantly changing people.

I cried today over a certain youth. It has been a long time since that happened and I am so relieved to know that God still has compassion in my soul for this ministry. It's hard to decipher these days what things are routine and what has been ordained. As I thought about you, and prayed over my attitude toward you, I realize that there is still compassion for this ministry, for this calling. The day I do not have compassion on youth, is the day I should quit. Compassion is necessary for life, for following Christ, as described by Sam in his brilliant graduation speech. God, please continue to move my heart. Things are changing, so rapidly, and you must be in the middle of this somehow: Avery leaving, John stepping out, leaders graduating and a whole new crew of young people. Help me, give me wisdom, I cannot ever do this on my own.

Annabeth is over, kids are a lot of work. This is a good lesson for me to learn. :) Dear body, please adjust quickly, I hate nausea and that's what I'm anticipating. John moves out this week, man life is way too hectic. Tomorrow I take my car in, hopefully he has room for me and that it's not too expensive. Alright, time to pack and watch cable tv. peace.

0 Comments

The way I see it # 267

"Music can lift us out of depression or move us to tears - it is a remedy, a tonic, orange juice for the ear. But for many of my neurological patients, music is even more - it can provide access, even when no medication can, to movement, to speech, to life. For them, music is not a luxury, but a neccessity."

- Oliver Sacks


And He set me on fire
And I am burning alive
With His breath in my lungs
I am coming undone
And I cannot hold it in and remain composed
Love’s taken over me and so
I propose the letting myself go
I am letting myself go

You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy

I need to catch my breath, I need to
I need to catch my breath, give me a moment now
I’m laughing so hard...
- David Crowder Band

0 Comments

Today I had the day off (as well as yesterday). I work so much it feels wrong. I mean it feels good, but it doesn't feel right. I think this is a problem. I feel so guilty. Between BPI and the church there's always something to be done. Not to mention wedding stuff. I hope with marriage comes some sort of balance. We're definitely going to need to reorder our lives. I have the tendency to be come a workaholic. I don't want that.

Today, nothing went as planned. It wasn't bad, in fact it was good, just not as planned.

Sister woke me up early to go to Starbucks, her treat! That was nice, we sat for a bit before she went to work. Then I ran two errands, I went to the ATM and had a horrible experience I won't relay. Let's just say that one man's impatient actions made me want to turn my back on the town I love and say I hate LA. I think God's just trying to teach me something about slowing down in life. I went to CVS and picked up the prescription that furthers my ascent into adulthood (I pondered whether the right wording would be "descent" or "ascent", and I chose the glass half full description).

Natasha and I spent a good part of the day together which was rad. She was my beach buddy that I desperately needed.

We lay out and listened to music for about an hour or so before we picked up lunch from TJs and went to Diana's work.

Diana did her make up for the play, she did an amazing job, but it's not hard to make Tash beautiful.

Then we rushed rushed home. So rushed home.

After that I almost forgot to pick up mom, but I did. Then I continued to rush to get to Kevin's graduation. I forgot that attending a graduation that you have not previously mapped out is a grand misadventure. I parked a huge distance away but arrived before he received his diploma and was able to scream along with the rest of the P -fam.

(Kevin's in there somewhere)
Then I came home for dinner with John and mom before he rushed off to worship practice.

The evening has been spent in a short nap, yoga with mom, and attempted cleaning/studying. It's interesting, I don't think it's coincidence that we've been talking about relationships at LIT. I think I want to continue it out even a few more weeks. I know that I've put it off because of insecurities in my own life, but now that we're engaged, I feel a tiny bit more confident. A tiny bit. I want the best for our students, love as God intended it. That's a lofty goal, but I'm praying.

Tomorrow I'm hoping I'll be able to get off work early by going in early so I can go to Tasha's play *crosses fingers*
Alright, that means I should sleep. 5:15 will be here too soon, 5:15?!?! what is the world coming to.

Sam's graduation:

Mr. Valedictorian is in there some where (I think behind the massive balloon pillar)

And a few photos from bowling last night:

Labels: birthday, day off, graduation

0 Comments

When I woke up this morning the sun was shining so brightly on my bed. It's really summer. I love summer! So excited to go to the beach, and to have parties and to go camping and do all the things I love to do in summer.

I had to hurry to get to my doctor's appt, since mom was in the shower before me. I got there quickly and only riding the elevator incorrectly once. I hopped in there, some poor man nearly severing his arm in attempting to hold it open for me. Thinking back on it, that man may have been a woman. In fact I think it was. I stood in front the directory on the second floor for a moment, pretending to gather my bearings, but really I was just waiting for the doors to close on the lady who stayed in the elevator so she wouldn't realize I needed to get back in and go back down to the first floor.

I'm ok with my doctor, I didn't agree with her on a few things but all in all she seemed to know her stuff. Here's for stepping into adulthood. For once I was able to tell my doctor that I'm excercising regularly, that's awesome! Thanks sister.

After all that I stopped by Victoria's secret for their annual (or is it semi annual) sale and treated myself to some "happy birthday" (new chonies) yay! Then I rushed home to go have lunch. We took grandma and grandpa out with us to Todai's to celebrate the day of my birth. I wanted to go there because first of all, duh, it's amazing food! All you can eat Japanese, yes please! And secondly, when you go on your birthday you get a coupon for a free lunch. It was all that I was expecting. Love food.

I was debating rushing off to try and get some shoes at the Westside Pavilion today and of course visiting my love behind the BB counter, but I figured I'd be too rushed with trying to get back in time for sam's graduation. Walking beside my 80+ year old grandpa today reminded me that life is not to be rushed. John is always trying to slow me down, I have this hurry mentality within every fiber of my being. Some people were calmly waiting for us to pass, while others became so irritated. Why the hurry, I thought? I know too the well the being rushed, but I also understand the value of pause, especially through holding the hand of one of my grandparents.

Tonight is going to be awesome, hurrahing for Sam the Valedictorian and bowling for 24. Woot.

Labels: 24th birthday, graduation, grandparents

0 Comments

24.

0 Comments

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